Famous films recaptioned: Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp eating together

“Lady decided now was not the best time to announce she was allergic to gluten”

From the film Lady and the Tramp.

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Jaws – Alternate endings

The shark attacks Chief Brody in the ending of the film Jaws

The Jaws film could have ended so very differently…

Spoiler alert! The shark dies at the end of the film Jaws. Good old chief Brody succeeds in blowing it up, leaving him and Matt Hooper as the sole survivors of the shark hunting expedition.

But imagine if that ending had not been given the green light. How then might Jaws have ended. Here are a few alternate endings from me…

  • They fail to even the find the shark when they set out to sea, so instead just continue singing their ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’ song until the film fades out
  • Jaws lures them out to the the South Pole. It is so cold, the boat’s engine freezes up and then Jaws loses interest when he finds a herd of walruses
  • Hooper’s shark cage sinks to the bottom of the ocean with him in it. Brody and Quint forget about him because they are way too busy singing ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’
  • The shark does not want to eat any of them, but just wants to tease and play. The film ends with them all firm friends
  • Ellen Brody, on another boat, comes out to sea to join them. She has brought with her some delicious sandwiches. They all enjoy these and over a sing-song (Spanish lady)
  • Chief Brody loses his glasses while looking over the edge of the boat. Unable to see clearly, he shoots Quint with a harpoon mistaking him for Jaws. Hooper rushes to the scene, trips over Quint’s body, loses his glasses and unable to see clearly, shoots Chief Brody, mistaking him for Jaws. The real shark emerges from the ocean and eats Hooper
  • Brody, Hooper and Quint manage to mount the shark and ride it out to see. The film fades to black as they disappear into the distance singing ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’

Chief Brody smoking on the boat with Hooper behind him in the film Jaws

A brief guide to the Star Wars universe: Hem Dazon

Hem Dazon from Star Wars

Hem Dazon

Hem is renowned for his moody temperament, which might be because he spent all of his earnings on salt and juri juice. The latter is a popular drink that is served at the Mos Eisley Cantina.

Hem makes a brief showing in A New HopeĀ and is one of the more traditional looking aliens, i.e. he looks like how you might imagine an alien to actually look.

Character cool factor: 8

Most likely to: be skint

Least likely to: offer to buy a round of drinks