“Lady decided now was not the best time to announce she was allergic to gluten”
From the film Lady and the Tramp.
“Joe’s avergage speed of 5 mph always put Ann perfectly at ease”
From the film Roman Holiday.
The Jaws film could have ended so very differently…
Spoiler alert! The shark dies at the end of the film Jaws. Good old chief Brody succeeds in blowing it up, leaving him and Matt Hooper as the sole survivors of the shark hunting expedition.
But imagine if that ending had not been given the green light. How then might Jaws have ended. Here are a few alternate endings from me…
- They fail to even the find the shark when they set out to sea, so instead just continue singing their ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’ song until the film fades out
- Jaws lures them out to the the South Pole. It is so cold, the boat’s engine freezes up and then Jaws loses interest when he finds a herd of walruses
- Hooper’s shark cage sinks to the bottom of the ocean with him in it. Brody and Quint forget about him because they are way too busy singing ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’
- The shark does not want to eat any of them, but just wants to tease and play. The film ends with them all firm friends
- Ellen Brody, on another boat, comes out to sea to join them. She has brought with her some delicious sandwiches. They all enjoy these and over a sing-song (Spanish lady)
- Chief Brody loses his glasses while looking over the edge of the boat. Unable to see clearly, he shoots Quint with a harpoon mistaking him for Jaws. Hooper rushes to the scene, trips over Quint’s body, loses his glasses and unable to see clearly, shoots Chief Brody, mistaking him for Jaws. The real shark emerges from the ocean and eats Hooper
- Brody, Hooper and Quint manage to mount the shark and ride it out to see. The film fades to black as they disappear into the distance singing ‘farewell and adieu Spanish lady’
“Lassie put on her kindest face while quietly planning when was best to inappropriately bite the boy”
From the film Lassie Come Home.
This fellow has a most unusual looking head and is thus nicknamed ‘braniac’. Pons has little to do in A New Hope except for lurk in the Mos Eisely Cantina and look menacing with his hollowed yellow eyes.
Character cool factor: 7
Most likely to: be in need of a large hat to cover that head
Least likely to: be accused of having no brain
“Allow me to pick it for you, Mr. Bond”
From the film You Only Live Twice.
“Eve’s new highlights had left Roger Thornhill temporarily blinded”
From the film North by Northwest.
Hem is renowned for his moody temperament, which might be because he spent all of his earnings on salt and juri juice. The latter is a popular drink that is served at the Mos Eisley Cantina.
Hem makes a brief showing in A New Hope and is one of the more traditional looking aliens, i.e. he looks like how you might imagine an alien to actually look.
Character cool factor: 8
Most likely to: be skint
Least likely to: offer to buy a round of drinks
“Now Bathsheba, what have I told you about wearing the picnic blanket”
From the film Far From The Madding Crowd.