Imagine if Han and Greedo’s conversation in Star Wars – A New Hope had played out like this…
Greedo: Going somewhere Solo?
Han: Yes Greedo, as a matter of fact I was just on my way to the mens’.
Greedo: I’ve just come from there myself, it’s been redecorated.
Han: Is that so? Maybe I could get some ideas for when I redecorate the bathroom in the Millennium Falcon.
Greedo: The marble tiles are quite, quite exquisite, Han.
Han: While I like marble, I have always preferred the finish of granite, it gives a more rustic edge.
Greedo: Could I buy you a drink while you’re here?
Han: Ooh yes please. I would love a babycham.
Greedo: Well fancy that! That’s my favourite tipple too. But not to dampen the mood, I’ve been looking forward to killing you for a long time.
Han: Yes I bet you have, but back to bathrooms…
Greedo: Oh yes, I simply must tell you about the chrome taps…